That’s Not Fair!

‘Now the betrayer had given them a sign, saying, “The one I will kiss is the man; seize him.” ‘ Matthew 26:48

Over the last two weeks we spent four glorious days alone at a lake cottage (I’ll try to post some photos tomorrow) and then another eight with our family. Being in close proximity with seven grandchildren, I often heard one phrase repeated; “That’s not fair!” The days of our own struggle as parents raising two hyper competitive sons with all the attendant frustrations, weariness and uncertainties sprang back to life for me.

Why is it that life often seems to deal us an unfair hand to play? Why does one grandson have kidneys that don’t work properly and another has special needs which have kept him on a second grade reading level into his pre-teen years? Why does one succeed at almost everything and another is in a battle just to finish high school? None of this seems fair and as a grandparent my tendency is to want to fix everything; but in most cases I can’t. It feels like we just clean up one mess in time for another one to fall from the sky. Where is God? Jesus could certainly have asked these questions along with a thousand more on that night when He was betrayed. After all, His disciple Judas was supposed to have been one of his closest friends. Jesus had called Judas and taught him. Jesus had multiplied bread and walked on water while he was there. Jesus had handed him the bread and the cup at the last supper, and yet there Judas stood with a smile on his face as the temple guards arrested Jesus. Where was the answer to Jesus’ prayers in the garden? Where were the thousands He had healed, prayed for and wept over? The answer may seem obvious to us as we just the flip the page and see that Jesus would rise from the dead. But at the moment of unfairness and pain both for us and for Jesus those concepts feel far away . And yet God is in control of the circumstances …even the unfair ones and like Judas’ betrayal, are firmly held in the His hands. If like Jesus you continue to love and trust Him alone; God will reach down and take those things that hurt the most and cause good to come – both for ourselves and for those around us. Pain, hurt and betrayal are not the end of your story There is still another page to turn! Rest in Him. No one knows more than Jesus the sting of unfairness and betrayal that you are going through. He is holding on to you and has promised to always be with you; even to the end!

Being a Grandparent in Shutdown

Grandchildren are the crowning glory of the aged parents are the pride of their children.  Proverbs 17:6

I have always believed that when grandparents and parents play on the same team kids win. But when our grandchildren can’t come to see us and it’s hard even having a backyard barbeque a how can we continue to be a part of their lives?

I love long slow walks with our grandkids but now with them being in a lockdown area our visiting is on hold. So I have begun a letter writing campaign to try and keep in touch. Granted that they don’t write back much but I know at least that they have something that they can keep forever; unlike a video call that ends with a tap of a finger. Nana can’t make sure that there are  chocolate chip cookies on their table; but she can send them small thoughtful gifts that no one else knows they will love.

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Maybe most of all our enforced separation has caused us on both ends of the phone calls, to value the relationships we have taken for granted. We are not just asking how they are doing but we are really listening to what they have to say. Sometimes Dad and Mom feel like the demands will never end but we Grandparents know that it all comes to an end too quickly and we treasure slow and ordinary moments. God bless all you Moms and Dads as you have shared your children with us. We only have them for a little while and we promise to give them back to you wrapped tightly in the love of a grandparent!

While I certainly don’t have all the answers these are a few things we have been doing so why not let us know what is working for you.

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