Alzheimers

Taking Care of Mom

/ pastorpete51 / 8 Comments 
When Jesus saw His mother and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby, He said to His mother, “Behold your son!” Then He said to the disciple, “Behold your mother!” and from that hour the disciple took her to his own home. John 19:26-27 ESV

When we read the stories of Jesus calling His disciples, it becomes clear early on that He had a special job for three of them: Peter, James, and John. Though Peter’s brother Andrew followed Jesus first and was the one who told Peter about Him, it was Peter who was called to be the leader, and despite denying Christ at His trial, Peter was the same boldly preached to thousands on Pentecost. At first, thousands became Christians, but then a few months later, the second in that inner circle, James was put to death for his faith. But what about John? If Peter were to lead, and James to be martyred, what did Jesus ask John to do? Jesus called Him take care of His mother.

While Peter was out preaching, and later on Paul became the greatest evangelist of all time, John stayed home, and there accomplished two things: He wrote about Jesus and He took care of Mary. Maybe there were days when John wondered why he couldn’t have a more exciting ministry. Why couldn’t he go on a mission trip, schedule a speaking tour, or organize the growing church? In fact, after the first few chapters of the book of Acts, John disappears from our view entirely. It wasn’t that he wasn’t as smart, couldn’t speak well or know how to lead. The central issue of John’s life was that He was asked by Jesus to take care of someone most precious to Jesus: His mom!

In memory-care ministry, we are not asked to speak to large crowds, to oversee the construction of a new church or to travel overseas. Instead, Jesus calls us to enter a world that others hope to avoid, and many would like to forget. So, on days when you wonder if you are making any difference, you feel exhausted, or confused, just remember John. When we read through the New Testament, we don’t find a single word that John said, and yet he was called the disciple whom Jesus loved. You are likewise loved by Jesus, and He will fill you with His love for others as you continue to trust Him and just take care of mom!

Why Should We Care About Memory Care?

/ pastorpete51 / 4 Comments

Now the eyes of Israel were dim with age, so that he could not see. So Joseph brought them near him, and he kissed them and embraced them. Genesis 48:10 ESV

They barely remember our name and struggle to recall where they are. The hands, once strong and able that provided for us, protected us and even at times disciplined us now hang limply at their sides. What is the use of visiting, when they will not remember it an hour from now? Those are hard but very real questions we may struggle with if we have a parent in memory care.

Genesis 48:10 ESV  Now the eyes of Israel were dim with age, so that he could not see. So Joseph brought them near him, and he kissed them and embraced them.

https://bible.com/bible/59/gen.48.10.ESV

But God remembers them and like Jacob, they still hold the blessings for our children in their hands. Rather than simply pity them, or stay away in discouragement and sorrow, let us go remembering that God has designed this chapter in their lives to still have purpose. Remember that after Jesus was born, he was brought by Mary and Joseph to the temple.  There Jesus received blessings from, Simeon and Anna, the two oldest members of the community.

Those who are least respected by a society weary of caring for its elderly, are highly honored by God. These weakened by infirmity and age have been entrusted with the blessing for our children. Why should we care about memory care? Because Jesus does and He remembers them and sees when each one falls.

Before I Knew Him There

/ pastorpete51 / 2 Comments 
I did my best to visit but
Her memory was thin
And she kept asking if I knew
When she’d go home again

“What difference can I make?”
I asked and slumped down in my chair
“In just an hour or so she will
Not know that I was there”

So, I slipped out of the doorway
Hoping that perhaps I’d find
The answers to the questions
Parading through my mind

After I walked a mile the rain 
Began to fall and I
Started looking for a shelter
Underneath a tree nearby

There clinging to its highest branch
Stood a cardinal and he
When he saw me started singing
In his cheery joyful glee

And His melodies brought memories
Like echoes from a well
Reminding me of promises
That I only knew too well

Of my Savior and His passion
And the cross He chose to bear
To pay the price so high and deep
Before I knew Him there

"… to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." 
Ephesians 3:18b-19 NIV

Before I Knew Him There
by Peter Caligiuri
Copyright © 2025 All rights reserved

I am dedicating this poem to the memory of my precious stepmom Amy, (pictured in the feature photo with my dad.) Amy battled Parkinson’s Disease for the last 6 years of her life and passed away in 2004. Though the scene in “Before I Knew Him There” is an imaginary composite, it is one that I see a bit of every week as I visit in the memory care wing of a local facility. I also dedicate this little poem to all those whose loved ones are passing through the veil of memory loss, or who are perhaps beginning that journey themselves.