Listening at the Nursing Home

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
James 1:19 NLT

When my wife and I were learning Portuguese, from our friends at the Brazilian church where we served on staff, we found that listening was key. We had to be quiet and pay close attention as people were speaking. Another fun way was to join in as we saw the words for the worship songs, heard others singing around us and finally a tiny bit at a time ventured to join them with our own voices. Then, little by little, as we increased our vocabulary and improved our dreadful accents, we were able to enter into conversations with our friends.

The same kind of listening is important when serving in a long-term care facility. It does little good and sometimes much harm, to simply come in with all of our own ideas of what we think the people need. Life in long-term care, whether it is assisted living, memory care or a traditional skilled nursing facility is an entirely different world from living in our neighborhood. Just as when we were learning Portuguese, it is hard for most of us to be quiet long enough to hear what the people, who God has sent us to serve, are saying. In spite of the fact that we have two ears and one mouth, I find that talking is far easier than taking time to listen. But only listening long enough to know the hearts of our dear friends will teach us how to share the message of the love of Jesus Christ in a language that they can understand! So, lets close our mouths more and open our ears wider and ask God to help us to listen. Only then will we be able to know what to say, when God calls us to share with others the message of the hope of Jesus Christ.

Thanksgiving at the Nursing Home

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Oh yes, Thanksgiving is creeping up on us! I have read a lot of great posts about giving thanks, but people at the Nursing Homes which I visit take on a different viewpoint of the holiday. Very few will get to spend it with their family at a table filled with food. Most will get a few slices of turkey with mashed potatoes and gravy in the dining hall. Their thankfulness isn’t punctuated by football games, and they aren’t making plans to do Black Friday shopping. Instead, most of the thankfulness up and down the halls in long term care is about a table that they will sit at one day with Jesus Christ. They come to our hymn singing times and either join in if they still can or just listen as the Lord lifts up their hearts to Him. Yes, we should be thankful for what we have received, but what lies ahead is so much greater and will last forever. Why not take a moment to close yourself in with God and picture His answer to your prayers before you receive them? Why not give thanks right now for what lies ahead, and then receive His peace which is greater than anything you can understand that can guard your heart and mind in Jesus?

Jesus Weeps With Us

Don and his wife Lorna had been active in our church for as long as anyone could recall. Lorna headed the greeters and helped organize events for the seniors. While Don took a less active role in official ministry, he was a loved and active part of our men’s group. After church, I always enjoyed listening to his stories of growing up on a dairy farm in Minnesota and his many years as an administrator of a nursing home. Though they were some of our oldest members, Don and Lorna seemed to live a charmed life that would go on forever. Forever that is until Lorna had a fall breaking her hip and Don began using a walker to shuffle in and out of church. But people brought them dinners, prayed for them and even did the shopping. Then came Lorna’s second fall and the inevitable change of living quarters, from a lovely senior apartment to a nursing home. There, just last week, a few of us gathered in the dining room to celebrate their 63rd anniversary. Their son and daughter try to stay involved and make numerous trips to visit but being hundreds of miles away it isn’t easy. What is the church to do. When circumstances seem hopeless. When the road seems to long and dark. How are we to continue to love and serve our senior brothers and sisters? The Bible tells us that Jesus had those moments, when no words could express His heart for the situation of His friend Lazarus. People have given a thousand reasonable explanations for the theology behind these two words which form the shortest verse in the Bible. Yet, I suspect that there is a depth of compassion and love that is only understood by those who are truly broken by the sorrows of others.

Jesus wept John 11:35 KJV

Yes, of course Jesus knew what He would do. He realized that in mere moments, Lazarus would walk out of the grave. Yet He paused on the way and shared His tears with those of His friends. It reminds me of the moment thirty years ago when my mother was in hospice. I had driven out to spend some days with her in the hospital and then ridden along as they transported her to the hospice. But we lived four hours away and I had to return home to be with my wife and teenaged sons and work. That Sunday, my friend Jerry greeted me on the way out of church and asked, “How’s your mom?” I was grateful for his concern, but as I opened my mouth to try and explain, no words would come. I suddenly felt weak and sat down and simply wept for several minutes while Jerry laid his hand on my shoulder. Life is like that. There are times both in family life and in long-term-care ministry where words are far too insufficient. How precious it is that we have a Savior who comes and sits by our side and weeps with us! We learn more of His heart in those moments than anywhere else on earth!