I wondered what the Christmas story would look like in a contemporary setting, so I wrote a collection of modern scenes for churches, inspired by the New Testament records, the first being about a harried family called “The Shepherds.”

Dan and Trish Shepherd drag their clan, two teens and three little ones, “the meemies,” into a diner called Whoopees. The meemies run amuck.

“Hey! Hey!” Mom shouts.

Dad comes to the rescue: “No grass until the sheep get in their pen!”

The meemies dive into their chairs, giggling and ‘bah-bah’-ing.“Who wants a hamburger?”

“Me! Me! Me! Me!” they scream.

Painfully insecure middle-schooler Nikki asks how long before they get to Grandma and Grandpa’s house.

Mom tells her not to whine.

“I’m not whining,” she whines, “and I refuse to sit with the meemies; they’re all sticky and gross!”

Big brother Colin says, “Come on, Picky Nikki, you can sit…